Therapy FAQs Clients REALLY want to ask (but never do)
Q1: Can I swear in therapy?
A: F*#% Yes! You can swear, cry, laugh, ramble, or stumble over your words. You don’t need to censor yourself here. This is a space for you to be real, not perfectly polished.
Q2: What if I catch feelings for you?
A: It can happen. A therapeutic relationship could be the first time you’ve experienced emotional safety with someone, and loving feelings are a natural consequence of that. It can be easy to confuse that with romantic or sexual interest.
We can talk about it without acting on it or making it weird.
Q3: Am I allowed to ask questions about you?
A: Absolutely.
I can’t promise I’ll answer everything, but you can always ask.
Q4: Is it weird if I Google you?
A: I assume you already did.
Please don’t judge my C2S time or the sometimes weird questions journalists want me to comment on. Psychological opinions on "How to poo at your partners place" is journalistic gold! https://womenshealth.com.au/how-to-poo-at-your-partners-place/
Q5: Do I have to talk about my childhood?
A: Nope.
But if we keep getting stuck on something that seems to come from your early experiences, I’m going to be annoying take the lead and encourage you to gently explore that history with me.
Q6: Do you ever get bored talking to your clients?
A: Bored? No. But I’m human so sometimes my mind can wander or I can have a sugar crash (birthday cake days in the office are the worst!). Or, I may occasionally feel like I'm getting sick or tired but I won’t see clients on days this impacts my work.
I bring a cup of coffee or tea into session to perk myself up. If that bothers you, we’re probably not a good fit.
Q7: Do you actually give a shit, or is this just a paycheck?
A: Both, I guess?
I actually give a shit, and I feel very lucky I get paid to do the work that I enjoy and is so meaningful to me.
I like to say that you pay for my time and expertise, but the heart is free.
Q8: Are you going to force psych meds on me?
A: Nope. I’m a psychologist, and I can’t prescribe meds (that’s a psychiatrist).
If I think medication might help you, I will let you know and recommend you speak with your GP or a psychiatrist. I'll respect your preferences always and will only push the issue if it becomes clear that we are not making progress and my experience tells me what you are dealing with is something that generally is responsive to the meds available.
Q9: Would you judge me if I told you something fucked up?
A: Would you believe me if I told you no?
I’m here to help you explore why you think you’re fucked up. Not to judge whether you’re objectively a “good” or “bad” person.
FWIW, I don’t judge my clients, but we both know you won’t believe it until you see it, and ill be patient with you if it takes a while for you to get brave enough to trust me to tell me your secrets.
Q10: Honestly, what I’m going through isn’t THAT bad. Do you think someone else needs my spot in therapy more than I do?
A: It could always be worse. We've all been told "there are starving children in Africa"... but I believe prevention is better than cure and would actually PREFER to work with you before things get really bad.
I have also made note of your tendency to worry more about strangers than yourself so you can bet I’ll be asking you about this pattern in your intake session.
Q11: Can we talk about sex?
A: Of course.
And religion, money, politics, or any other “taboo” or “TMI” topic that is relevant to your life.
There is no TMI in therapy.
Q12: What if I start crying and can’t stop?
A: Your crying won’t make me uncomfortable.
And if you don’t want to cry all session, or the feelings become so overwhelming it’s distressing (like a panic attack), I can help you get back to a place where you’re regulated and conversation is possible.
Q13: Can I admit to you if I hate my spouse / kids / parents / boss / life ?
A: Yep. Having uncomfortable feelings don't make you a bad person. We think of feelings more like a warning sign- like the petrol light coming on in your car- a sign that you need to pay attention to something that isn't right.
Q14: What if I’m not exactly sure why I’m coming to therapy?
A: That’s super common for many clients. It's hard to know what to get out of something you’ve never experienced before, right?
You’re here because “something’s not right” and it’s my job to help you figure out exactly what that is.
Q15: Do you think about your clients outside of session?
A: Yep, sometimes.
I told you before, I actually care. This means sometimes I’m randomly reminded of you.
I may even intentionally think about you on important days in your life and wonder how you’re doing. Birthdays, divorce hearings, job interviews, etc. This can happen even after we’re done working together.
Q16: Can I tell you if you piss me off?
A: YES, PLEASE!
Therapy is for you, and if I get something wrong, I want to know so I can make it right.
Also, the chance to experience “repair” in the therapeutic relationship can be very powerful and help you understand what you want conflict resolution to look like in other relationships.
Q17: I feel numb. Like I'm going through the motions. Even if there isn't anything 'wrong' or 'bad' happening is therapy even for me?
A: Yes, and you’re in the right place.
Still have questions?
Therapy doesn’t have to be intimidating, overly formal, or a place where you feel like you have to say all the “right” things. You get to show up as you are, curious, nervous, messy, unsure, or not quite knowing where to begin.
If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy but have questions, worries, or just want to get a feel for whether we’d be a good fit, please reach out.
You don’t need to have it all figured out before taking the first step. We can start right where you are.